Fly Much?

You know you are a very frequent flier when on Sunday you get to church extra early and have your pick of seats, and the usher asks you where you want to go, and you say "I'd like an aisle seat, please".

When the Brat Attack is Justified...

*Almost every week for several months, you travel with the same carry-on luggage. You stow it with no problems in the overhead compartment of the plane. This week...this week!...they decide to tell you that the bag is too big to go on the plane and that they have started charging people for bags. You politely explain that you have been travelling with their airline for what seems like forever with no issues. They still ask you to put your bag into the silver grilled case to test if it can actually fit on the plane.

DOES ANYONE'S roller bag EVER PERFECTLY fit into those things?



You are obedient and proceed to put your bag - yes, the same one you carry every week - into that silver thing. It fits half-way. They start to tell you that you need to check your bag. That if you force your bag into the overhead compartment on the plane the same way you are forcing it into that silver thing, you will scratch the plane. You look at them - long and hard. You mumble something about never scratching their plane.

You check your bag and the inner brat THREATENS to come out. But you are silent and play it cool. You are just so annoyed with these jokers and their policy and wonder to yourself what on earth is the value of the elite status you hold on their airline, if you can't even carry a simple roller bag onto their plane.


------


*You browse the store and select 2 magazines. You hear a noise from the cashier that sounds something like $11.95. You look up at the register. You heard right. $11.95 for 2 magazines. You return one of them. That day has come. You can no longer casually buy magazines. Rationing is in effect.

Did Mr. Taxi Read My Mind and Punish Me For It?

Man, I really didn't want to sit in a sauna, especially not in a business suit. I guess the taxi driver doesn't get that it is summer, and that a little AC could help the situation tremendously. Well, I for sure won't be asking him for anything. He has been scowling all night and is built like the Incredible Hulk.



A few minutes post-this thought, magic happens and the AC is turned on. Yay! Or so I thought. I then felt like a penguin lounging near the Arctic circle. Who me? No way, I am not asking him to make it warmer - Incredible Hulk with a scowl, remember? I really hope that he doesn't hear my teeth chattering or see that my window is still sort of open, even though he has the AC blasting. Oops.

You know what? I am pretty sure that Mr. Taxi read my mind and decided to freeze me out. Sorry, sir. I will try not to be so mentally sarcastic next time. Just please, give us passengers a little coolness in the summer heat. Thanks so much!

Congrats David Wilson on 12 and 40!

David Wilson, Minister of the Kings Church of Christ, recently celebrated two milestone anniversaries:

*12 Years as a preacher of God's word

AND

*40 Years on Planet Earth

Congrats, David!

May God continue to bless you as you go forward on your journey to significantly enhance the lives of so many.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

(Seems like David realllly enjoyed his big days: see http://expalot.blogspot.com/2008/07/thank-god-for-forty.html for details)

Congrats Angel on 10 Years!!

Angel Brown recently celebrated his 10-year anniversary at Air Jamaica. Angel has an excellent work ethic and has been diligently serving the national airline for a decade.






Congrats, Brother-in-Law!!!



Enjoy your anniversary!

Embracing my inner goddess

Saturday was beautiful and I felt like a goddess.

I started the morning by renewing my mind with passages from the Bible. Mostly from the Book of Romans. Once my head was in check, I decided it was time to renew the body...and so I went for a 48 min. bike ride in the cool of the morning on the West side. It was then time for kayaking on the Hudson River...but first I had to run for ~20 minutes to get to the boathouse. I did a few laps around the approved area on the Hudson and then just leaned way back in my kayak, and enjoyed the scenery, and sunny weather, as I peacefully floated about in my little boat. Amazing!

After kayaking, I walked back to my apartment - feeling oh-so-fit and on top of the world. (I am slowly but surely finding my way back to my extreme sports passion and my inner tomgirl. Loving it!!)

I closed out the day by spending several hours visiting with a sister from church. It was great to hang out in her neck of the woods and learn more about:

*what it was like to live in the South during the '50's and '60s

*how far NY has come over the decades and

*what it takes to sustain 55 years of wedded comfort

What a beautiful day! I am so blessed.

Throwing Bones

This is dedicated to You(s). You(s) may or may not know who you are. Hehe. Nuff love.

Beautiful!!

Keri Thinks She's Seen Her Mojo

Woaah! It's been a while since I posted.

Well, I have a lot of over due stuff to write about and I am thrilled that I see my mojo in the distance so that I can get it all out and posted. The long weekend is coming up and I look forward to finally sharing about:

*My wonderful, superfantastic experiences in Dubai

*The highlights from the Lords of the West Indies concert, starring Monty Alexander

*Why I am happy that the same old rhetoric and scare tactics seem to be losing their power in the U.S. elections

*A great N.Y. play experience and drugs

*A yummy vegan restaurant that I have to go back to

*What He's done for me lately

Mojo, I see you!! We'll be together again soon :). Finally!

Laundry Day - I just want clean clothes!

Got enough quarters for 2 loads, have all the clothes to be washed in the laundry basket, it's early enough that I should find available washing machines. Feeling good.

Whoah, the machines don't accept quarters anymore. You now need to use money cards. The machine to purchase money cards only accepts $5, $10 an $20 bills. Sigh. Head back up to see if I have any cash. Really don't want to have to go to ATM just to get laundry done. Eureka! I found a $5 bill. Head back down to laundry room.

Sigh. The machine accepts the $5 and then spits it back out. I read the instructions closely and see minimum purchase is $10. I need a break from laundry, it's lunch time.

Post-lunch, I head outside to the ATM. I walk back and re-enter the laundry room with $20s in my pocket. I place a $20 bill into the money card machine. The machine accepts it and then spits it back out. Siiiiigh!! The stupid machine will only accept $10 bills! False advertising!

I head back outside, go to the corner store and swap a $20 for 2 $10s. I then head back to the laundry room...and...I am finally able to purchase the stupid money card!

Wow. Who knew it would be this hard to get clean clothes?

(N.B. Despite the rigmarole, I think the idea of money cards, vs. quarters, is actually more convenient.)

Things that make you go "huh??!"

Sitting at a social hour with some folks. Crowded room. Loud music. I had a box of cards on the table, wrapped in plastic. Great evening. Towards the end of the evening, I see my box of cards in their plastic wrapper, being lifted from the table by a woman at an adjacent booth. I stare in shock. What's she doing with my stuff?

The woman then proceeds to rub the plastic (my plastic!) all over her face. I ask the people with me, who are closer to the woman, to get my box of cards back ASAP. At the same time, the woman's date grabs the box from her and places it back on my table.

Huh????!!

Cover of the Day - NY Post - Hillary Clinton Success

My 'Come Hither' Voice

Arranging to be picked up from the airport can be interesting. During my interactions with the various booking representatives, I have been addressed as "sir", more than once. Funnily enough, this is after I have been on the phone speaking for over a minute. I always laughingly tell the reps. that I am a "lady", and they always apologize profusely.

The "sir" phenomenon does not happen every time I call...actually, it occurs in less than 1% of my interactions. Either way, I don't lose any sleep over it. I say, go ahead, call me "sir" if you like...I will chalk it up to my having a great "come hither voice". Right???

*Sigh* What's a "sir" to do? ;)

Can you be too enthusiastic?

I recently caught a portion of the Rachel Ray talk show/cooking show. Boy! She is a bundle of enthusiasm. It's high pitched. It's "great"s and "awesome"s. It's a wide, bright-eyed grin. But is it too much?

Sometimes I had to put the TV on mute, because it started to grate on my nerves. I love happy. I love enthusiasm. But, I think you can cross the line into becoming unreal...a tad fake and Rachel, I think you cross that line. The show was quite enjoyable, when Rachel calmed down, spoke in her inside voice and was her, nice, pleasant persona. I could actually take the show off of mute during those times.

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/

Email - What is That?

I met someone recently on the subway - he was a gentleman in his 30s. We started to speak about email and the Internet. He looked confused when I said email. He actually said 'what is that?'. Somehow, I didn't fall off of my subway seat, but kept talking. I couldn't believe that a person in this day and age, someone of that age group even, living in the U.S of A, would not have used email, much less heard about it.

I frankly got a little scared for the fellow. I thought about the dinosaurs that became extinct and felt that the world would leave this poor man behind. I gently encouraged him to take a course so that he could get acquainted with the WWW. He smiled and agreed that he didn't want to be left in the Stone Age. Phew! He got the message.

Why intentionally make yourself extinct? Plus, who can remember life without email, blackberries, Google, the Internet, blogs, etc. And even if you could, why go back?

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Butt Is It Really Appetizing?

I recently went out to dinner at a restaurant on the West Coast and saw the following meal listed on the menu:

Brasato - Braised pork butt, lacinato kale with garlic, tomatoes, and rosemary potatoes

I don't eat meat, but I was surprised that the chef thought that using the word "butt" to describe any meal would be appetizing. I dare say that even meat eaters would agree with me. Right, Donald? (http://kerijam.blogspot.com/2007/07/interview-with-meat-eater.html).

When the waitress came by I decided to get to the bottom (pun intended) of the mystery. She said that she would ask the chef and get back to me. A few minutes later she returned and explained that the chef hates the word "rump" and refuses to have that word on the menu. Hence, the use of the more acceptable "butt".

Go figure. Don't mess with an artist.

Mum, when I grow up I want to run around naked

Mark Roberts is one of the world's most famous serial streakers. He has streaked at the FA Cup Final. Streaked at a Mr. Universe Contest and a Miss Word contest. Streaked at the bull run in Pamplona. Streaked at the Royal Ascot. Streaked at Wimbledon. Even streaked at the Super Bowl where Janet Jackson had her infamous wardrobe malfunction. Mark has streaked his way into stardom, sharing what his 'mama gave him' over 300 times to International audiences.

Mark's passion is to bring laugher to the world. "I don't have much going for me down there, so when I run out on the field, people think I'm a woman with small breasts," Roberts said. "But I'm not even conscious of it. We are what we are. I just want to make people laugh."

So, how does one end up becoming a full-time serial streaker? Mark started in 1993 as part of a drunken bet. After seeing a female streaker at a rugby match in Hong Kong, Mark told his friends that anyone could streak. They dared him, and in a drunken stupor he agreed and streaked twice. And he continued to build dramatically from that point on. Mark's mother says that he "was a normal kid but all of the sudden got a little crazy. I think I must have dropped him on his head or something."

Mark's "job" is not without its risks. He has had to pay fines and court costs. "It's the only job where I have to pay to go to work," Roberts said. "But every time you plan on doing something like this, you're going to get caught." In addition, Mark is banned from attending any soccer game in England and Wales. He needs to surrender his passport and important documents before football games and his passport forbids him from ever entering Hong Kong.

Mark is still motivated by having a laugh and so retirement may not come for some time. In the interim, Mark is enjoying his popularity and is able to support himself based on corporate donations and funds from his friends.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Roberts

http://www.thestreaker.org.uk/main.htm

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/drehs/030306.html

Happy Chinese New Year!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_New_Year

Google has great comedic timing

My friend Akwasi shared a great find on google:

Go to http://www.google.com/
Type in "find Chuck Norris" in the search field
Click "I'm feeling lucky"

Enjoy! Post Comments :).