Showing posts with label comic relief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comic relief. Show all posts

Friday, August 22, 2008

LOL Read of the Day: Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps


I really enjoyed reading the following article by Tim Dahlberg for the Associated Press entitled "First Phelps, then Bolt in Olympic greatness". Please see below:

----------------------------

BEIJING -- First the fastest man in the water. Now the fastest man on Earth.

The Chinese are having themselves quite the Olympics.
Michael Phelps gave us something we'll probably never see again. Usain Bolt followed with something we had to see to believe.

He ran like Secretariat on two legs, blew away the field like Tiger Woods playing in a club championship.

It looked easy because it was. His fellow sprinters looked befuddled because they were.

No one was ever supposed to be this fast. No one was ever supposed to be this good. A few days earlier Bolt clowned around on his way to a world record in the 100, toying with the other runners as if asking them why they had even bothered.

For his encore, he kept running all the way to the finish line to smash a world record in the 200 that had stood the test of time.

He did it while Phelps was jetting off to London, his eight gold medals safely stored and his place in this Olympics assured. These were always Phelps' games, at least as far as NBC and its American audience were concerned, but Bolt reminded us that television doesn't always dictate who is the star of the games.

The numbers can be debated, and they certainly will in the rural Jamaican parish that grows yams and sprinters. Two gold medals (with a possible third still to come in the 400 relay) against eight hardly seems a fair fight, but this was dominance as utter on land as it was in the pool.

Bolt did what no one thought possible, not only winning the races that define human speed but setting world records in both. He was so far ahead in both races that he could have turned around and run backward the last 30 meters and still won.

Then he did something Phelps always looked uncomfortable doing.

He celebrated.

Not just a little wave to the crowd, quick hug to a teammate kind of celebration.

A real celebration.

Bolt kissed the track and draped himself in the Jamaican flag. He danced and preened, showed everyone his golden spikes, and watched himself on the giant video screen at the end of the stadium.

He might still be dancing had they not needed to clear the track for Melaine Walker to add to Jamaica's track treasures with a gold medal of her own in the 400 hurdles.

We watched last week as Phelps gave his mother flowers after all of his wins, a nice touch that NBC wasn't shy about showing. Bolt gave his country -- and a sport that was badly in need of a boost -- an even bigger present with his startling run into history.

"He's a bad mamma-jamma," said silver medalist Shawn Crawford. "The guy came out and made this the best Olympics of my lifetime."

Actually, what Bolt did was wrap a bow around these games as almost certainly the best Olympics of anyone's lifetime. What else could they be when a man in the water did such astonishing things the first week and a man on the track did equally astonishing things the second.

Phelps started it all by thrilling everyone in his relentless -- and ultimately successful -- bid to break a 36-year-old record held by Mark Spitz.

And Bolt? All he did was bring down Superman.

"He's Superman 2," said Michael Johnson, who got his nickname after shocking the world with the 19.32 he ran in the 1996 Olympics.

No he's not. He's so good he deserves a nickname of his own.
"My name is Lightning Bolt, not Flash Gordon," Bolt said.
On this sultry night in the Bird's Nest, the Lightning Bolt struck quickly, with Bolt coming out of the turn with a big lead on his way to a 19.30 that will stand until the next time he wants to beat it. While other runners pump their fists and grind down the track, the 6-foot-5 Bolt seems to glide above it as if he's wearing a cape of his own.

He runs for fun and he runs for glory. Then he runs for a microphone to tell the world all about it.

"I blew my mind," Bolt said. "I blew the world's mind."

Yes he did, because the world didn't see this coming. While Phelps was a known commodity after winning six golds in Athens, Bolt was untested on the biggest stage and had to talk his coach into letting him enter the 100 as well as run his favorite 200.

He ran both so fast that the whispers were beginning before Bolt even draped himself in the flag. That's the way things are in track, where three of the last five Olympic 100 winners eventually tested positive for performance enhancing drugs and where startling times are greeted with suspicion.

But Bolt has been tested four times in the past few weeks, three of them blood tests, and come up clean. His coaches insist it's raw talent and hard work that makes him so fast, and we might just have to accept that he's a freak of nature.

It's not fair to question Bolt, and it wouldn't be fair to question what makes Phelps go so fast.

Just sit back and appreciate the magical moments two great athletes gave us when it mattered the most.

Jamaica Got Gold, Jamaica Tied for Silver...But U(SA) were Technically Fourth. What to do??


P.S. Thanks Chrissy Jackson for the photo shopped version. Black, green and gold all the way!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

LOL Sighting of the Day: Save the Planet T-Shirt

I saw a pretty cool t-shirt today - on the body of a teen male - it read:


Keep the World Clean. It's not Uranus.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Fly Much?

You know you are a very frequent flier when on Sunday you get to church extra early and have your pick of seats, and the usher asks you where you want to go, and you say "I'd like an aisle seat, please".


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

LOL Comment of the Day: Matthew McConaughey's kid


"McConaughey baby born wearing more clothes than Daddy"


~Pop Chart, Time Magazine

Gov. David Paterson is not Feeling Spitzer

NY Gov. Paterson was at Russell Simmons' Art for Life Benefit at Simmons' home in the Hamptons last Saturday when he took a couple of jabs at dah Spitz.

Here's what went down according to the NY Post:

GOV. David Paterson has little love for his predecessor, Eliot Spitzer - and isn't above taking a few pot shots at him. At Russell Simmons' Art for Life Benefit at Simmons' Hamptons home Saturday night, Paterson received a standing ovation when he was introduced. He cracked, "You can slow it down; I get paid by the hour" - an obvious dig at Spitzer's call-girl fiasco. He later highlighted the importance of art education and said, "I'm not sure if you all got the memo, but there's a new sheriff in town," again bringing the crowd to its feet.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Did Mr. Taxi Read My Mind and Punish Me For It?


Man, I really didn't want to sit in a sauna, especially not in a business suit. I guess the taxi driver doesn't get that it is summer, and that a little AC could help the situation tremendously. Well, I for sure won't be asking him for anything. He has been scowling all night and is built like the Incredible Hulk.



A few minutes post-this thought, magic happens and the AC is turned on. Yay! Or so I thought. I then felt like a penguin lounging near the Arctic circle. Who me? No way, I am not asking him to make it warmer - Incredible Hulk with a scowl, remember? I really hope that he doesn't hear my teeth chattering or see that my window is still sort of open, even though he has the AC blasting. Oops.


You know what? I am pretty sure that Mr. Taxi read my mind and decided to freeze me out. Sorry, sir. I will try not to be so mentally sarcastic next time. Just please, give us passengers a little coolness in the summer heat. Thanks so much!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

LOL News Item of the Day: Nelson Mandela removed from the U.S. Terrorism Watchlists!

Celebrate! The great day has finally arrived!

Nelson Mandela will officially be removed from the U.S. terrorism watch lists. On Tuesday, President George Bush signed a bill - H.R. 5690 - enabling this to happen.

How on earth did Mandela get on these lists in the first place?



Well, during the time that the South African government enforced racial segregation (between 1948 and 1994), the government chose to classify the African National Congress (ANC) as a terrorist group because of the ANC's continual protest against the country's system of white-only rule. The U.S. followed suit and deemed Mr. Mandela and other members of the ANC as potential terrorists, denying them access to U.S. visas without special permission.

Years, and years later, a bill has been signed to reverse this decision. Now, the U.S. State and Homeland Security Departments are able to waive restrictions against ANC members. Specifically, the bill, "authorizes the Departments of State and Homeland Security to determine that provisions in the Immigration and Nationality Act that render aliens inadmissible due to terrorist or criminal activities would not apply with respect to activities undertaken in association with the African National Congress in opposition to apartheid rule in South Africa."

I guess the legal process really does take time. I wonder what the great freedom fighter/27-year prison veteran/Nobel Peace Prize Winner/former President, Mr. Nelson Mandela, now 90-years old, thinks about all of this.


Source: CNN

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Friday, June 6, 2008

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Throwing Bones


This is dedicated to You(s). You(s) may or may not know who you are. Hehe. Nuff love.

Sunday, May 4, 2008