Running Away

It’s so bad you have to create another reality
So bad that you flirt with darkness and former enemies
You cannot coexist and remain sane
And so you fool yourself, and it disappears

It takes a stupor to drown it out
Another persona emerges
Slothful, wallowing in grime
The Anti-Action
Anti-Responsibility
Anti-You-Telling-Me-What-The-$@#%-To-Do

The Anger eventually gives way to loathing…depression…sadness…pity
The bright, fluffiness of the Box helps cover much of the ugliness
You allow the pretty colors and noises to dazzle you and delay the inevitable
This idiocy is somehow better than the reality you are running away from
You know that’s a lie, but you have to play it out
The funk is confusing; it’s hard to remember reason
Something shouts out antidotes – you know the cure – but you block that out too
You are just so entrenched

It goes on like this for a mind-numbing eternity
And then something clicks
You are sick of yourself or you are forced to return or both
You cleanse yourself with the cold, refreshing water
Fresh air flows
You are mobile

The True persona is pissed at the time that was wasted
So pissed
Much else could have been done – remember those transformational plans?!
Back in reality, you now feel robbed
The childishness of it all kills you
Hindsight shows you how you gave all of that stuff – the stuff that caused you to run – way too much importance
You’re pissed again because that funk was so darn pre-school and you have been at the graduate level for a while
You’ve already learnt this lesson!
OK! Leave it alone
You’re back
You’re ready
You’re free of it
AND
You still have to clean up the mess you created while you vacationed in that other realm

Keri S Smith