Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A-Rod's Press Conference - Alex Rodriguez on Steroid Abuse



Thank God A-Rod did not get acting tips from Madonna. That would have made yesterday's press conference even more amusing. Alex Rodriguez decided it was time to respond to the Sports Illustrated article which stated that he tested positive for steroids in 2003. This was only after his attempts to discredit SI writer Selena Roberts, by claiming that she was a stalker and a liar, backfired.

I enjoyed watching A-Rod at work. He was coached well by his PR team. If I took a shot for every time he said "young", "stupid", "24 or 25", or "sorry", I'd need to go to that special place where Amy Winehouse desperately needs to be - Rehab not St. Lucia.

A-Rod provided us with some great quotables, and instances where you really had to wonder if he thought you were that gullible. Here are a few examples:

"I knew we weren't taking Tic Tacs"

"I'm here to take my medicine" (Bad time for that analogy!)

"I didn’t think they were steroids. That’s again the part of being young and stupid. It was over the counter, it was pretty basic. And you know, it was really amateur hour." (Over the what? Really Alex?!! LOL. )

"You know, I’m not sure what the benefit was. I will say this: when you take any substance, or anything, especially in baseball, it’s half mental, and half physical. If you take this glass of water and you say I’m gonna be a better baseball if you believe it, you probably will be. So I certainly felt more energy, but it’s hard to say. It’s hard to say." (C'mon Alex. You knew what the benefits were )

"We went outside team doctors, team trainers. It was two guys doing a very amateur and very immature thing. We probably didn’t even take it right; like I said in my statement, we used to do it about two times a month. I don’t even know if that’s proper. (You let your cousin inject you with a foreign substance you knew nothing about? Give us some credit, Alex! You're handsome, but not that handsome! We are actually listening to what you are saying, not just being mesmerized by your looks!)

The best part of the conference for me was that 1 minute pause, where Alex got so choked up thanking his team for their support. We had several seconds of silence as Alex bit his lip, looked away, and tried not to cry. As you admired his tan, you also wanted to comfort him. It was that believable! A-Rod could teach Madonna a thing or two about an Oscar winning performance.

Overall, A-Rod played a good game. Even as he stretched the truth, he did it in such a way that we did not feel like complete morons, although we would have to be to accept some of what he was spinning. His team took a week to rehearse, and A-Rod recited his lines well, and was able to appear credible most of the time. Nice work.

Rihanna and Chris - The Latest

Chris Brown allegedly hit and bit his girlfriend Rihanna. She suffered visible injuries and had to go to the hospital for treatment.

Chris recently released the following statement:

"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired," the 19-year-old said in a statement released by his spokesman. "I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God's help, to emerging a better person. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writings under my name are frauds."

Rihanna has yet to come out with a statement, however, her family and friends have surfaced various comments to the media. Her father has been the most outspoken. He acknowledged that Rihanna had some bruising, but said that she would be all right. He went on to share that he hoped that Rihanna would move on from dating Chris Brown, and that "at some point, she will speak out. I hope she will stand up for women all over the world." Rihanna insiders have said that the singer was appalled by Brown's statement, especially since he did not admit any guilt.

The singer continues to reside in Barbados, recovering from her injuries with those closest to her.

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Additional Highlights:

*History of Violence: Brown grew up in an abusive household, where he witnessed his stepfather beating his mother. "He used to hit my mom ... He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself," Brown said during a 2007 interview with Giant magazine.

*Adverse Impact on Career: Wrigley suspended Brown's Doublemint gum ad; the Milk Moustache campaign said they were taking the allegations "very seriously"; and Sesame Street pulled a 2007 episode where Brown guest-starred from all future airings. Meanwhile, Rihanna has postponed her concert schedule

*Damage Control: Brown has hired top crisis management expert, Alan Nierob, to help save his career. Nierob, a veteran Hollywood publicist, is most known for reviving Mel Gibson's career after Mel's infamous anti-semitic tirade

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Rihanna and Chris Brown - Assault

Rihanna and Chris Brown were scheduled to perform at the Grammy's tonight. Unconfirmed reports indicate that the couple were involved in a car accident and that Al Green will perform in their place. Rihanna's rep did not provide any details, just saying that "Rihanna is well. Thank you for the care and support. "

Let's hope that there are no major injuries.

Update:

Apparently there was no car accident. Rihanna pulled out of performing at the Grammy's after police reported that they were investigating an assault claim against Chris Brown by an unidentified woman. LA police state that Chris Brown argued with said woman on Saturday night and the fight heated up when both left the car that Chris was driving. The woman had visible injuries and identified Chris Brown as her attacker. Chris left the scene before the police had arrived.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Michael Phelps Bonged it Up



He lost the Kellogg's endorsement deal.

Subway was next, allegedly, but the sandwich giant decided to keep him.

Poor Michael Phelps. The bong is indeed powerful.

Ever since his awe-inspiring Olympic victory in Beijing, all the 23-year old Phelps has done -if you rely on press stories - is party it up and hang out with a series of beautiful, pneumatic women. Who could blame him? After training non-stop for years, having no life but swimming, it was time to relax, grow a beer belly and enjoy the female attention.

But Phelps got careless. He forgot how special he was, how much of a celebrity, and unfortunately how to hide before that incriminating photo gets taken. Phelps probably trusted the people he was with, or more likely they were all too high to care - and now Phelps suffers the consequences.

After pics of Phelps and the bong emerged, I wondered to a friend what the repercussions would be. I suggested that if Phelps worked with his PR team to give a good public apology and if he were then pictured swimming vs.partying, sponsors would stay with him. I felt people would forgive bong-gate, if the offender acted sorry enough.

Then Kellogg's dropped Phelps, and I ate some humble pie. He was suspended from competition and financial support for 3 months by USA Swimming, the sports national governing body. Subway was rumoured to be the next sponsor to leave, and although I was sorry for Phelps, I was pleasantly surprised by a world that still taught that good judgement is best and even a simple lapse can have significant consequences. It can be a scary lesson, but shows us the importance of pondering our pathway and that sometimes "sorry" just isn't enough.

You'll be alright, Phelps. Party is over. Back to swimming and the discipline that provides.

Unleashing the Cat

Let's do it
You and me
A private room
I am ready for you
I have my cat o'nine tails
and my shiny purple boots
with spiked heels


::lash #1::
For all the times you spoke to me in your deep, condescending voice
As if I were a little biddy thing, who had absolutely no clue about life
As if I were just too helpless to manage myself in such a big man's world

::lash #2::
For all the times you didn't allow me to finish a sentence
You not only raised your voice
You interrupted me, feeling that what you had to say was more important
You oozed machismo, and added no value

::lash #3::
For all the times you got away with bloody murder
You stayed protected by working the buddy & drinks network
And someone else had to do what you were supposed to
Or clean up after you

::lash #4::
For all the times you could not admit that you were wrong
You became so creative trying to justify your way
You ignored the looks of pity, disgust and shock
And dug even deeper

::lash #5::
For all the times you were so nice
And made us like you, love you
Then you changed again and embraced the ugly
Trampling our trust

::lash #6::
For all the times you denied the true you
That beauty we know is there
Just to massage your ego
And pander to current philosophies

You discipline those you care about, right?
Well, let me be honest
My primary focus right now is me
I need to maintain peace and love when I interact with you
Forgiveness
Of course I too am flawed
And I do not ever want to get to that place where anger is dominant
Where I feel the need to actually pull out the whip
That good ole cat 'o nine
For a person who can't control their spirit
is the most damned of all


Keri S. Smith