I became a Christian when I was 12 years old. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I glowed. I was confident. I was in a state of pure bliss - feeling totally in sync with my life's purpose. My best friend, biggest supporter, and savior was the Creator of all things.
I was in love with Him. Could it get any better?
As the years passed, my relationship with Him took many turns. There was the radio silence on my end during a portion of the college years, quickly followed by the realization that life without Him was meaningless, scary and dark. There was my "going-through-the-motions-style-of-worship-because-I-theoretically-knew-what-I-was-supposed-to-do-but-didn't-emotionally connect-with-it" phase. There was the exploration of alternative paradigms focused on self and which overtly and/or subtly touted the absence of any absolute truths. There was also always the recognition during my painful valley experiences, that He was my only anchor, my only source of hope.
And now it has clicked. Forget theory. Yes, I intellectually embrace who He is and what He has done. His omniscience awes and humbles me. But, I am finally understanding the extent of His love for me...how from the beginning of time, He has craved an intimate relationship...has wanted to bless me with the extraordinary. He has been so patient, longsuffering and compassionate. He knew me from the womb, knows everything about me and still thinks I am fantastic, fearfully and wonderfully made. I am not sure if I will ever be able to fully comprehend such goodness.
I was in love with Him. Could it get any better?
As the years passed, my relationship with Him took many turns. There was the radio silence on my end during a portion of the college years, quickly followed by the realization that life without Him was meaningless, scary and dark. There was my "going-through-the-motions-style-of-worship-because-I-theoretically-knew-what-I-was-supposed-to-do-but-didn't-emotionally connect-with-it" phase. There was the exploration of alternative paradigms focused on self and which overtly and/or subtly touted the absence of any absolute truths. There was also always the recognition during my painful valley experiences, that He was my only anchor, my only source of hope.
And now it has clicked. Forget theory. Yes, I intellectually embrace who He is and what He has done. His omniscience awes and humbles me. But, I am finally understanding the extent of His love for me...how from the beginning of time, He has craved an intimate relationship...has wanted to bless me with the extraordinary. He has been so patient, longsuffering and compassionate. He knew me from the womb, knows everything about me and still thinks I am fantastic, fearfully and wonderfully made. I am not sure if I will ever be able to fully comprehend such goodness.
But, oh how wonderful it is to be 12 years old again! I am passionate. I am emotionally connected. I am head over heels in love with Him. He has no better.
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