Open It Up

Self-sufficient
Independent
Reticent about asking for help
Not wanting to bother people
Preferring to give than to receive
Sometimes in the extreme
Priding yourself on that
Relishing the joy associated with helping others
But stubborn about reaching out and asking for help
Denying them that same pleasure
Until you are forced to
You become so weak, you can hardly speak or move
You are in so much pain
When there is no possible way that you can do it alone
Where without them, without them...you are not sure what would have become of you
And the kindness
The loving caress, word, gesture
Brings tears to your eyes
And you are overwhelmed by the generosity
It feels awkward, but you embrace the rawness of the emotions
You marvel at how easily strangers have become your best friends
How much friends really love you
And how your acceptance of their kindness blesses them as much as you are blessed by them


Keri S. Smith

I am Not a Guinea Pig

I think I am pretty patient
I try to show mercy, so that the same can be shown to me
But every now and then
Every now and then
Someone or Something just makes me want to lose it
Fine, everyone needs to learn
How can we get better if we don't practice?
I get it, and am OK with it
But, when it is late at night, and I am quite unwell
Please, I beg you, please
Do not wake me up to practice
I empathize that you didn't get what the more experienced people saw
I get that you want to see it
To improve, to be the best you can be
But right now, right now
I don't have the patience to be your guinea pig
And after you tried for a long time and weren't successful
I wasn't mad, I was just tired
My head was killing me, I just wanted a break
But did you have to ask the one who was successful for pointers while you were still in hearing distance?
Yes, you want to learn, you want to improve
But it's not just about you
And while I work to be patient, and kind
Can you please at least pretend that I am more than a test case for you to learn?
That you are not just using me to fine-tune your skills?
That you care about my well-being
And I in turn will be more than happy for you to leverage me to enhance your knowledge


Keri S. Smith

I Am Nothing, He is Everything

You really don't know anything
You speak as if tomorrow is a given
As if you have any clue about what the future days will hold
As if you are in control of life, health, strength
And then you are humbled
You recognize the arrogance
And you still think you know something
That you can predict some of the basics about tomorrow
And again you are humbled
And you realize that you know nothing
That everything is a gift
That you have been richly blessed
That you have taken much for granted
That the only thing that is sure is Him and following His Word
That when all is stripped away, it's only His love that sustains you
And you cry as you learn the lesson...as you try to get all that He is teaching you
As you recognize how gracious He has been
And experience that all other foundation is sinking sand
You begin to see that you really can do nothing without Him
And through the tears, you understand that bread alone will not sustain you
But every word that proceeds out of His mouth provides life
And you embrace peace, because worrying will do nothing, planning can be futile and prayers work wonders
He's in control of all
And all things work together for good to those who love Him


Keri S. Smith